I’m always thrown by the Holidays. This year I said that I would not fall into that whole retail trap, that I would instead focus on spending time with my children and appreciating each moment with them, but I get stuck. I start to feel sorry for myself for not having enough for them, for going over my tiny budget and paying bills late to make this happen. I fell deeply into that trap I tried so hard to avoid.
What is it that makes me do it? Is it the Old Navy commercials with the attractive young people dancing around with their pets? Is it the obscene amount of car and jewelery commercials where people make out or pass out? Or is it the underlining theme to all of this? That notion that if you care about people, you will show them this by giving them things.
And giving them things makes up for all the crap you put them through the rest of the year? This whole cycle makes me feel sad and without. I don’t make cookie plates or buy people sweaters with snowflakes on them and somehow I feel like less of a person because of it.
But when it comes to Christmas day, and we’re opening presents and my friends and family are calling to say “Happy Holidays!”, I feel overwhelmed in a different way. Instead of feeling sorry for myself or kicking myself for not buying Uncle Fred that mounted singing fish, I feel overjoyed to have what I do; people who love me, healthy children, a job, and a warm place to sleep at night. Happy New Year to you all and thanks for stopping by.